Winter days

It's been stormy here in Folsom the last couple of days. It's been kinda fun, just me and Ezekiel hanging out indoors. I'm working on getting into a bit more of a schedule, especially since I'm starting to do a little more work this week and going forward. Thursday is my first day back watching Josh and Anna, and I go to the law firm again on Friday. Last Friday was my first day back there, and I think it went really well. I was really curious about how I would feel, at the end of a full day of being away from him. Nathanael and Ezekiel were at the Mowrer's, so I went straight over there, and I was really anxious and excited to get there and see him. I had missed him, but I didn't feel really bad about it. I was happy that Nathanael got to spend the day with him and care for him for the night before and the whole day, and so I was just excited to see him again.

This week, I work full days on Thursday and Friday, but I will have him with me the first half of Thursday. We'll see how I feel after working 2 full days! It's interesting how on Friday, I felt good about getting up and being out in the world early. I felt like I was productive, but in a different way than I feel at home. I get lots of stuff done during the day at home, but there is something different about being up and dressed and out in public. It felt good, I think that going to the law firm on Fridays is going to be a good thing for all of us.

We got our first professional family photographs taken last night. We went up the the Posey's for dinner and a photo shoot. I think the ones of Ezekiel turned out great, I am really excited to see them. I'm not so sure about the ones of all of us, I hope at least a couple of those turned out. Ezekiel was 5 weeks old yesterday, I think that was the perfect age for pictures.

Last Saturday, we went for our first family walk! I got a stroller that the car seat fits into at my shower, from my hostesses, so we used that. It was a beautiful day out, and we walked to the library and spent quite a bit of time in there, just browsing at books, and reading. Ezekiel slept the whole time, thankfully, since it was the library. It was a nice, family day, and I loved it.

Sometimes I find myself falling into old habits (who am I kidding, they are still my current habits I'm trying to break) of trying to get done as much stuff as possible during a day. I spent the months preceding his birth trying to get as much stuff done as possible in our home and our lives, because everybody said to do that, that I wouldn't have time for anything once he came. So thats what I did. I got so much stuff done every day, and each day I was constantly reviewing in my mind my "to do list", so that I was never without a task. Now, I don't get so much stuff done, although I do pretty good about maximizing the time when he is sleeping to get things done. Nathanael told me last night that my one and only job each day is to make sure that Ezekiel is loved and cared for, and as long as I get that done, then I have done all that I need to for that day. It's hard to really start thinking that way, though. But I'm practicing. :)

We got Ezekiel's name sign on Sunday. Brett Zugnoni's dad made it for us, and it is awesome. We love it. I've posted a picture of it. We are going to hang it above his crib in his room.

Something else I've been thinking of a lot lately, is how strange it feels not to have an event to be looking forward to. For so many months, we looked forward to Ezekiel's birth, and it seemed like everything we did was in anticipation of that event. Now that it has come and gone, and we are home and getting into a routine, it feels weird not to be anticipating a big event. It's like an unending string of days stretches out before me, and each day includes all the time in the world with Ezekiel. I look forward to each day - each one brings new and challenging things my way. But I'm not accustomed to the feeling of having an expanse of days laid out before me, with nothing to set apart one block of days from another. I can't say that I don't like it, though.

Ezekiel's face is really starting to fill out. If it is possible, his cheeks are getting even chubbier. He can hold his head up pretty much continuously now, which makes it a little more difficult to burp him over my shoulder. Nathanael texted me on Friday while I was at work saying he had gotten him to smile. I tried it this morning, and I think I was able to get a little smile, but it's still hard to say if it's a coincidence or not. His hair is still my favorite. It keeps growing, and I love it. It's the best after a bath, when it is fluffy and stands up straight. It looks a lot lighter after a bath too.