On Saturday, August 22nd, I was painting at Ben and Barbara's house, and I got a call from Dana. She asked if we could come over for dinner sometime soon. Nathanael was out of town at Discwood in Lake Tahoe that weekend, so the earliest that we could get together would be Sunday night, after services. So we made a plan to go over to their house.
To be honest, I was not exactly looking forward to what Dana wanted us to come over for. She did not say, so I did not know. But I figured that it was to tell us about the fundraiser event they would be attending that week, to tell us about the birth mothers she planned to visit with, and/or to ask us for more copies of our profile book, etc. I figured that we would come away from the night with more ARs, and with a message of "just keep waiting". And I wasn't looking forward to that message.
So we went over to their house after services on Sunday night. Christa was there, and we talked and ate dinner. Towards the end of dinner, Dana said, "Hey, I have a letter that I'd like you guys to read, it's from a birth mother". I assumed that it was a nice thank you letter that one of Dana's birth mothers had written to her that was particularly touching, and that she thought that we would enjoy. So of course we would read it. She went upstairs to get it, brought it down, and handed it to Nathanael. She asked him to read it out loud. So he started by saying, "It's addressed to us". My head snapped up from my dinner plate, and I said, "What??" I wondered who would be writing us a letter and sending it to Dana. It was at this time that I felt like something was going on, that we were being set up for something, like we were on Candid Camera or something. It didn't help me to not feel that way when I saw Christa holding a camera up. So Nathanael started reading. The author introduced herself as Amanda, and she described herself, and her life a little bit. As soon as she identified herself, this made the situation feel even stranger, since I knew who she was. We had met her last Christmas, when she was visiting Dana, after having given birth to a baby last November, which she placed for adoption. Dana has all her birth moms come out to visit her after giving birth. I remembered meeting her, but it was very briefly. I also knew of her because she and Brooke were friends, and Brooke would talk about Amanda when I talked on the phone with Brooke. So Amanda has been in my "network" of people that we've come to know of or about since we started our adoption journey. From time to time I would hear things about Amanda...how indignant she was when Brooke turned out not to be pregnant...how she wanted to find us a baby to adopt...she really seemed to like us, although I didn't know why, since we had met so briefly.
Back to the story. Nathanael kept reading the letter. Since I knew that she was pregnant again, as soon as she identified herself in the letter, the first thought that popped into my mind was, "Is she giving us her baby???" But I immediately pushed that thought away. It was ridiculous, and I knew she had decided to keep the baby. So I was puzzled about why she was writing to us, and explaining her life story. It was obviously leading up to something, but I didn't know what.
As Nathanael was reading, he kept pausing to interject comments. I had to refrain from saying, "Just keep reading!" And I think everyone else was thinking the same thing. I desperately wanted him to get to the culmination of the letter, I felt something huge was happening, I just didn't know what. Towards the end of the letter, Nathanael reads this:
"I told Dana months ago that I wanted to help ya'll find a baby this year...never imagined it could possibly be my very own. That being said, I have a very important question to ask the two of you...there is a special little boy, due to arrive right before Christmas, and I wanted to know if you would please consider opening your heart and home to this precious, deserving soul...and to adopt my baby boy? If you agree to raise this baby to love the Lord and follow His commandments, I give you my word that I will NEVER go back on my decision to choose adoption."
So that was it. Here was our dream about to be realized. I immediately began to cry, I was incredulous. I couldn't believe that THIS was what this letter was about. It seemed too amazing to be really happening. I had known that something was going on, but this was beyond my imagination. The fact that she had already decided, and it was really happening. We of course said yes! Dana texted her, apparently Amanda had been waiting anxiously for our answer. Lots of hugs and tears and laughter ensued! Dana had really set us up good, we truly had no idea what was going on.
Dana filled us in on how all this came to be. Apparently, Amanda had only just decided to place this baby for adoption a few days earlier. A dear friend of hers had written her a difficult email, saying that she thought Amanda was making the wrong choice for this baby by keeping it. As difficult as that was for Amanda to hear, she had already been thinking that. It seems like she just needed a little push, and it came from someone who loved her. I am eternally grateful to this person, as she is my friend too. I know she is reading this - thank you for your courage and wisdom and thoughtfulness and gentleness. I will always think of you as playing an instrumental role in bringing this adoption plan about, and you will always be special to me.
So Amanda wrote the letter, and sent it to Dana for us to read. And here we are, preparing to embark on the journey of parenthood for the first time, thanks to the selflessness and courage of one girl.
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