Closer

Since the last time I posted, Amanda has had 2 more hospital visits. One for the stomach flu, and another just last weekend for dizziness and a severe headache, and possible problems with her blood pressure. Ezekiel is always perfect, even though Amanda suffers in one form or another. Dana says it's because she is in such a state of panic about what she is going to have to do soon. I guess her parents are having a hard time with it too. Robyn wrote Amanda and her parents very nice emails at Dana's suggestion, to help to give them encouragement. Amanda is off bedrest and the Trebutaline now. Her doctor said last week that she didn't expect him until after Thanksgiving, though. That was good news for me, at least. I feel like the more days I have prior to him getting here, the more I can accomplish. It's crazy how crazy I am about getting stuff done. Every little thing I get done, I think, "oh, good. One more thing I don't have to do after he gets here". But at the same time, I am so excited to see him! But I know that he will get here inevitably, and I'll start really wanting him to come soon when Dec 1st rolls around, so we can make it home in time to go up to Washington for Christmas.

I know that plans are underway for my baby shower. I am excited about it. I like some of Val's ideas that she has told me about.

We have secured a place to stay in Houston. Yay! I finally worked up the courage to call Dana's mom, since she had offered for us to stay with them. She was very gracious, and said we could stay at their house, and then Amanda told me this week that Denise's father in law Les has a big house not far from Denise's, and we could stay there as well. It's times like this that it is so great being a member of God's church. He provides for us so expertly.

Other great news! Nathanael's boss offered his Southwest vouchers to us for our trips to Houston and back. We are so thankful. Again, God is blessing us and taking care of us each day. He will help us get through the financial burdens of the adoption.

I'm anxious about seeing Amanda in the hospital. I'm afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, or not meeting her expectations. I know she will be watching our every move once we have Ezekiel in our arms, and I don't want to disappoint her. I pray about that a lot. That the hospital time will go smoothly, as well as the legal stuff. Nathanael talked to his aunt Kelly about that, and she shared her stories about her time with both of her kid's birth moms. She had a very interesting perspective on that time. It was very precious to her, and she wouldn't trade that time for anything in the world. It's helping me to change my perspective on that time as well, and maybe look forward to it a little, instead of being anxious about it. After all, Dana will be there the whole time, and she will take care of anything that I cannot.

On a more selfish note, I'm really hoping he doesn't decide to come on any of Southwest's blackout days. Today is one of them. The day is almost over, so we're off to a good start. Here's hoping he doesn't come tomorrow either, since that is a blackout day too!

Holiday outfits

I got a package from my mom yesterday, she sent me the CUTEST Christmas outfit for Ezekiel. It is my favorite so far. I just need to find little red pants to go with it, and he'll be all ready for Christmas!

No change with Amanda. She is scheduled to be off bedrest and Trebutaline on the 17th of this month.

I have been painting part of the changing table, but I ran out of white paint, so I'll need to get some more to finish that project.

I'm nervous about where we are going to stay when we get to Texas. I'm going to call Megan's friend Dana's parents, who live in Houston, to ask them if we can stay at their house. It's kind of an awkward phone call to make, but we can't afford to stay in a hotel for 2 weeks.

I'm feeling a little anxious about how everything is going to work out- at the hospital, the legal stuff, logistics, the transportation, etc. I think it's just because I have no idea what to expect, except that one way or another, I'm coming home with a baby.

People frequently question, in one form or another, whether I'm nervous about Amanda changing her mind. Frankly, I'm not. Every time she goes back to the hospital, she re-assures us that she's not changing her mind, via Dana. And I simply can't be thinking things like that. I'm truly not worried about it, I have complete faith that she will do what she says she will do.

When I hold Phineas, it just does not really click in my brain that I'll be having a baby that size soon. I look at him, but it doesn't register with me. I can't get past the feeling that at some point, I'll just give him back to someone. I guess it'll be a real shock for my mind when it realizes that he belongs to me.

It might be this month

Well, November is here. I'm faced with the possibility that Ezekiel might be born in the current month, but I'm still holding out for December. Nathanael and I have some wagers going, on his birth date, and his birth weight. The winner gets to choose his Christmas outfit and his first church outfit.

Amanda had a doctor visit today, not much had changed, which is a good thing these days. She is still taking the anti-contraction meds every 8 hours, but I guess she is not on quite as strict bedrest, she is just supposed to take it easy. Her next appointment is November 17th, when her doctor will take her off the the meds, and anything goes after that! I guess I should plan on being ready in 2 weeks. :) I'm selfishly glad that it seems like we will be able to make it down to So Cal and back for our little mini vacation before she goes into labor. I'm really looking forward to that trip!

I went to Costco for my monthly shopping trip today. The only difference with this trip is that I bought diapers, formula, and wipes. That felt kind of strange.

I'm going to do some work in Ezekiel's room on Wednesday. And I need to buy a mattress, pronto. I've been keeping an ongoing packing list, so that when it comes time to pack for Houston, and I'm flustered because it's sooner than I expected, I don't have to think, just consult my list. I think it's brilliant.