June 13th

I texted with Brooke off and on, but I did not talk to her on the phone. We were pretty busy. She had rented Sleeping Beauty to watch, since her visit back to the doctor resulted in her being off bed rest, but still needing to take it easy. I thought it was cute that she rented sleeping Beauty, and wondered if it had anything to do with that fact that we have all but settled on the name Aurora for her name, or if it’s just because she likes the movie. I certainly know that Nathanael watches it all the time now, just so he can watch the opening scene. If you don’t remember what that is…watch Sleeping Beauty again.

Saturday night Jaime and Kennedy and I went to Sarah Cain’s baby shower. It was the first baby shower I had gone to since we got the good news. And it did feel different, being at a baby shower, and expecting a baby of my own. I felt, just a little bit, like I fit in a little more than I ever have before at a baby shower. I love talking about Brooke and the baby, and there were lots of people there who wanted to know things, and who were interested. I really enjoyed talking to April and Val and Jaime. Since Sarah was having a girl, I enjoyed a little more than I usually would watching her open presents that were almost exclusively baby girl clothes. It was more exciting for me, since those were things that I care about now, too. But at the same time that I found the baby shower to be a little more relevant for me than I normally would, I still felt different, but not in a bad way. Different only in the sense that all the other expectant mothers that I know are giving birth to their babies, but for me, someone else is giving birth to her. this is a rather obvious difference, but it is noteworthy for me. there is still a level at which I will not be able to relate to expectant mothers I know, nor they with me, and while we will have many shared experiences once our babies arrive, our journeys up until birth will be very different. I hope that I will be able to find other adoptive mothers who are waiting like I am, so that perhaps we can share some of our exeriences and feelings. But it’s still the most fun to share new things and details about the adoption with people who love me, regardless of our differences.